Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It`s ok if you don`t like my personality,,, I`ve got others.
You do realize everyone can see your status right?
My train of thought is loco, no motive.
Well your honor, I thought handing her the curling iron while she was showering would get her ready faster.
I totally love and fully respect that you`re a little bit slutty
If you catch me in the morning in a yoga position... more than likely I passed out drunk that way.
The old saying "I wouldn`t wish this on my worst enemy"... Clearly you have forgotten why they are your worst enemy.
When I said I wanted to take it slow, I meant your life.
The secret of enjoying a good wine: 1) Open the bottle to allow it breathe. 2) If it does not look like it`s breathing, give it mouth-to-mouth.
Seth Rogen and James Franco having their movie pulled due to terrorist threats sounds like the plot of a Seth Rogen and James Franco movie.
Likes doing tokyo drifts with the shopping carts when I round the corner of each isle at Walmart.
Farts are like children. I`m proud of mine and disgusted by yours.
I have always wanted to start a brand of Christian themed lollipops and call them Catho-licks.
LIFE HACK: Answer your phone "Hello you`re on the air" and 99% of the time people will just hang up
No really I`m fine, I have drugs and alcohol to block out reality, but thanks anyway...