Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Turns out that my get rich painfully slow scheme isn`t working out either.
You`re as useless as a referee in the WWE
Collecting my thoughts… I almost have a whole set! ;)
Netflix doesn’t care if u showered or not
I dont mind if you call me Crazy, but dont you dare call me stupid. Because to be this crazy some intelligence is definitely required.
We should have a way of telling people their breath stinks without hurting their feelings like: “Well I’m bored, let’s go brush our teeth.”
MAY` contain nudity? Either it does or it doesn`t. DON`T WASTE MY TIME
I`m not a mechanic so I don`t know why, but my car seems to make a screaming noise whenever I run over people.
If one teacher cannot teach every subject, then how come one student is expected to learn all the subjects.
When a girl says "no," a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow."
I only hug people when I need to wipe my hands off.
I woke up feeling strange this morning...I felt Rested and Relaxed so I immediately Googled my symptoms. Turns out I had a `Sleep in` Apparently it`s not harmful but may be addictive. . .
I was at a nice restaurant tonight and accidentally left out a loud fart. 4 people turned around. For a minute, I thought I was on "The Voice".
Why is it called a menstrual calendar and not a flow chart?
I`m only gonna have one beer. At a time. Until all the beer is gone.