Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Consumer confidence is at an all time high, and so am I.
Before I had kids I never really reflected on life`s little mysteries. For example, why is my toothbrush under the couch?
On the highway, getting passed by a minivan is the football equivalent to getting tackled by the kicker.
Protip: Never look up from your breakfast if you hear the words "gruesome discovery" coming from your TV on the morning news.
I should start carrying a pool noodle in my car and randomly smack cars when stuck in traffic
Why can’t they make the whole week out of Saturdays?
A recent survey of one person revealed that 100% of me thinks I should skip work tomorrow.
Being able to eat while watching Hannibal makes you more of a psychopath than anyone on the show.
I am finally old enough to realize my father was right, but now my kids think I am wrong.
Pretending to be nice is exhausting...
Judging from the bar receipts, ATM withdraws, hand stamps, and the glitter in my car, I now realize I`m a ball of fun when I black out.
My life may be a mess but at least I didn`t make a harlem shake video.
Monday :`( Tuesday :-( Wednesday :- Thursday :-/ Friday :-| Saturday :-) Sunday B-)
I live in fear of finding hidden cameras in my house & not being able to explain why I do all those random karate kicks directed at no one.
I just bought a house, car and a boat with no payments until 2013. Those f`ing Mayans better be right…