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Boobs: because you can`t suck on a girls personality
You and I are just different. And by different I mean you`re stupid.
Ever seen a person so disgusting you hold your breath when you walk by them? Yea I have.
We had a power outage last week and my PC, TV and games console shut down immediately, so I had to talk to my family for a few hours. They seem like nice people.
Pokémon means a totally different thing if your stuck in a Jamaican prison.
Opening the Tupperware cupboard at home should be regarded as an extreme sport.
I`ve learned more from one season of "Shark tank", than I ever learned in four years of buisness school.
Id explain it to you, but I don’t have any crayons with me.
It turns out that playing strip solitaire isn`t nearly as much fun as playing strip poker. Especially at work...
The problem with the girl of my dreams is that she’s never around when I’m awake.
I wonder when people without cars pick their noses…
You post all of your drama on Facebook. Then get upset when people judge you? You must be a special kind of stupid.
Why do they call a status a status if it already happened? I mean, shouldnt it be called History?
When is National Slap a Co-worker Day? ... Please say tomorrow
It`s the little things in life that count, like pills.