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If by “clubbing” you mean eating club sandwiches then yeah I’m pretty into the club scene.
Hello is this HP? I’d like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet and you sent me a printer.
Ex Girlfriend: Omg! I had a dream about you last night!! Ex Boyfriend: Aww thats so sweet, what happend? Ex Girlfriend: U died :)
When I was a child, I wanted to be a surgeon. But apparently I was too young
Do you ever start writing a status and half way through you’re just like… nah
I`ll never forget the first time we met. Although, I will keep trying.
CANT TOUCH THIS!! Na na na na.
It`s a lot easier to chuck a co-worker in the dumpster than it is to listen to his problems.
If you are not sweating while doing it...then you are doing it wrong.
I`m so, so sorry I started the whole Facebook Is Going To Start Charging thing. I didn`t think it would go THIS far..... sorry
If tomatoes are classed as a fruit, then doesnt that mean that ketchup is technically a smoothie? ... hmmm
The secret of enjoying a good wine: 1) Open the bottle to allow it to breathe. 2) if it does not look like it`s breathing give it mouth-to_mouth
Reasons I check my voicemail: 1% to hear the message. 99% to get rid of that annoying icon.
I`m trying to lose weight by eating carrots and bran muffins. It`s a fiber-optics diet.
Now that cell phones are becoming more and more waterproof, pretty soon it will be okay to push people into pools again...