Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to open the vodka is the smartest.
I`ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.
Every day can be palm Sunday if you`re a single guy
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent ? That’s why I never take baths...
“Check that sh!t out” luckily rarely refers to actual sh!t.
Soup of the day: Beer
It`s a good idea to test your immune system from time to time by eating a gas station hot dog
Daylight Savings makes us lose an hour... It’s kind of like Facebook.
The best thing about hand sanitiser is that when you put it on, it looks like you are plotting to take over the world.
Statistically: 1 in 7 dwarfs are grumpy
Hiding the bank statement from your husband is the adult version of hiding your report card from your parents.
I swear on this f*cking chicken I will never swear again. Oops.
This day needs more yesterday.
If you want to be remembered after you die, borrow money from everyone you know.
Instead of spending $2,000 on a purse, some of you ladies should use the money for therapy sessions.