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Do not read the next sentence. You little rebel, that`s why I like you.
Music is best when it’s louder than I can think.
So far I’ve spent most of 2016 flipping off the weather channel.
I`m not saying women are smarter than men, but it`s kinda ironic that there`s so few known women serial killers and so many unsolved murders.
If I throw a stick will you leave?
If everything goes as planned, tonight I shall drink myself beautiful.
Group Therapy: listening to ALL your voices.
I tell people that the secret ingredient in my cookies is “love,” but it’s actually “floor”
My life is a constant battle of preventing my muffin top from becoming a pound cake.
My house has really let itself go.
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
I want to lose weight, but I don`t want to get caught up in one of those "Eat right and exercise" scams.
9 of 10 voices in my head telI me I `m crazy. One hums ...
I`m so lonely I drive around town with a coffee cup glued to the roof of my car just so people will wave at me.
morning i hate girls evening i need girls