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Fish must be excellent drivers. Very rarely do you hear about fish getting into car accidents.
Breaking News: Tuesdays suck just as much as Mondays.
Somewhere someone`s therapist knows you.
I once got a ride home from the pizza guy by ordering 1 pizza to be delivered to the bar and 1 to my house. Pretty sure i deserve an award.
dear journal..im now the coolest kid in school....mom:SWEETIE THE CHESSCLUB IS HERE 4 U!!!
I don’t always have a cool Facebook status, but when I do, an older relative ruins it with a lame comment.
If a single teacher can’t teach all the subjects then how could you expect a single student to learn all subjects.
One time I was in a bar and there was this really weird guy pouring booze all over his hand. Turned out he was trying to get his date drunk
Most of my thoughts have been coming from a very dark place lately. That`s what happens when you forget to pay your electric bill
Today was about as much fun as a warm toilet seat in a public restroom!
Confucius would have been great at Status Updates......
If he only wants you for your breasts, legs, and thighs; Send him to KFC by SIMO
Another year has passed. I`ve just about given up on the Mayans.
I’m trisexual, as in, I’ll try to have sex with you.
You know, rumor has it that the Mona Lisa may have been the first selfie.