Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Anyone else see the irony in Disney World?.. You know, the fact that it`s a giant human trap, ...set by a mouse.
I have to wonder why we have "non-essential" government employees in the first place.
If your man is reluctant to talk about his feelings, it’s probably because you haven’t told him what they are yet.
On Mondays I like to reply to all my bosses emails with `unsubscribe`
if you were 2 times as smart as you are now ... you would still be stupid
It´s Friday!! yea! Oh sorry, I was just practicing.
Anybody wanna go halfsies on an orgasm?
I like to jump onto people`s backs as an unexpected piggy back. but sometimes I get carried away
If any of you have gotten any weird texts from me recently, its because my phone is working fine and I`m just trying to make you feel uncomfortable.
My credit card company called. They want me to leave home without it.
50 Shades of Laze - My weekend plans
People who cook Hot Pockets in the oven, Where are you getting all this free time?
I don`t want to brag, but I`m single-handedly responsible for 86% of the rules in the Employee Handbook at work.
I feel like grabbing some random kid and screaming "I`m YOU from the future!"
Obviously the movie "the good wife" is not based on a true story. It`s fiction people.