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There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying "I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."
School taught me a lot of stuff, but the most useful was how to get ready in 15 minutes
“Swearing is unattractive” I’m not attractive anyway so f*ck off
A recent survey of one person revealed that 100% of me thinks I should skip work tomorrow.
Of all the martial arts, Karaoke inflicts the most pain.
Dating a single mother is like pressing continue on some one elses saved game
I`ve been around the block a few times, but then my neighbor realized I was drunk and helped me into my house.
Tomorrow is Valentines day, a holiday that comes along once a year to remind you that if you don`t have a special someone...I guess your alone.
The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake it then you`ve got it made!
You`re not living life right if you don`t get just a little bit nervous every time you hear a police siren.
Marriage: When dating goes too far.
Are you supposed to get an email that says “HAHAHAHAHA” after signing up for Match.com?
I like how Reese`s come with two peanut butter cups in the package. That way I can eat one now and then the other one right afterwards.
As you get closer and closer to the end of this status, I think it`s important that you lower your expectations.
Remember when you thought you’d have it all together by the time you were the age you are now? LOL