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Wouldn’t it be great to hear a priest say “been there, done that” in reply to your confessed sins?
Behind every man there is a woman wondering if going to jail for murder is as bad as it sounds.
HA! If you think I`M crazy you should meet ME!
According to the U.S. Census Bureau: 190,374 people are having sex right now, 212,130 are kissing, and 1 poor person is reading this post. You hang in there!
If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.
One great thing about life before the internet was if you met someone, you didn`t then have to know them the rest of your life.
Time to train for my favorite winter sport. Extreme Hibernation.
My anaconda really doesn`t care if you got buns or not.
Someone told me once that to have more confidence during sex, put in a live concert album while doing it. That way, you will hear applause every 3-4 minutes but I did it wrong. Accidentally put in a live concert album and all I heard was laughter!
Jellyfish have survived here on Earth for 650 million years without brains. Great news for most of you.
I don`t post a lot of personal statuses - but when I do it`s all about you ..
Like a glow stick, sometimes we have to break before we shine.
Telling people your phone is gonna die, But you really just don’t want to text them.
When I was little I didn`t care about things like what to wear, my parents dressed me. Looking back at some of my old pictures, it`s obvious that my parents didn`t care either.
If someone toilet papered my house that would be great because I`m out of toilet paper.