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Alright, I admit it. Sometimes when I wave my hands in the air, I actually do care.
The easiest way to get over someone is with a steamroller.
You know what’s more annoying than cops? People who buy old refurbished cop cars and keep the spotlight attached. We all hate you.
Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents job.
Dear Gangsta: If you pulled up your pants a little you could run from the cops faster.
eHarmony matched me with a bean bag chair with duct tape on it
Tupperware is so handy for those times when you feel like throwing out your food another day.
I finally got some medication for my Attention Deficit Disorder. Now if I could just remember the name of it and where I left it at.
I have an irrational fear of speed bumps but, I’m slowly getting over it.
I Like this quote. I dislike this quote. I am so clever that sometimes I don´t understand a single word of what I am saying.
Celebrities on drugs, politicians having affairs, aliens living mail boxes....I love standing in the check out line, its better than the library....and it has food.
I may be wrong, but I doubt it.
That horrible moment when the TV commercials are so long that you forget what you’re watching…
I need a job that pays at least 10,000 dollars an hour.
So apparently I`ve been Googling `Asian Prom` this whole time. I watched like seven videos before I realized they weren`t going to bang.