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Has anyone ever seen a gorilla in the mist? Some of the local drivers struggle to see my car in perfect daylight conditions, so I doubt that they`d spot a Gorilla in limited visibility!!!!!
I called one of those numbers in the bathroom stall and my wife answered. Very funny guys.
Whenever I screw up at work, I`m so glad I`m not a doctor.
Can Walmart be a feeling? I`m pretty sure that`s how I`m feeling today.
I hate to choose sides, but if forced, I`ll aggressively side with the person paying my bar tab.
Dear American Express, can you raise my debt ceiling?? Thx, bro.
If someone doesn’t stand up to let you pass them in movie theater seats, it’s totally cool and legal to fart in their face as you walk by.
Nothing says "party" like a red plastic cup.
In a 500-day period I could theoretically meet someone, get married, have a baby, and get divorced–and yet I’d still be using the same box of Q-tips.
My husband and I are having a serious fight. Do you think I should let him know about it?
To whoever has my voodoo doll, scratch between my butt cheeks....I`m in public.
God is testing me today, but I don`t think he realizes I`m a `C` student.
The wife and I just got divorced. We split the house ... I got the outside.
How come we can put a man on the moon but we can`t made a smoke alarm that can differentiate between a house fire and cooking sausages?
I`m starting to think that adult supervision is a myth. In fact, my eyes seem to be getting worse.