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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

My door is always open. So please feel free to leave.
Must be my day for Mis-Advertizing --- I just ate a Bowl of Cheerios ----- and they DIDN`T make me Happy!!!! FML!!! :-P
This rough sex would have been a lot better if I wasn`t alone.
I hate people that take drugs, specially U.S. Customs and the D.E.A.
It`s hard to diet when your favorite exercise is chewing...
Hate having friends? Just chew with your mouth open.
should probably get my daily dose of calcium.. white russians it is
Just took a shower. You have no idea how hard it was to sneak that thing out of Home Depot.
I know the voices ain`t really, but man, do they ever come up with some great ideas.
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who really do.
The Teen Choice Awards air last tonight if you want to see a great reminder of why kids aren`t allowed to vote.
If we ever travel thousands of light years to a planet inhabited by intelligent life, let’s just make patterns in their crops and leave.
I like my coffee like I like my men: caffeinated, made of beans, muscular, tousled hair, you know what, I don`t really know how to do this..
Turns out a crash diet doesn`t mean having vodka with every meal and falling down the stairs at noon!
Two things everybody wants: 1) Lose weight. 2) Eat.