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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Vegetables are a must on my diet. I am eating Carrot cake, Zucchini bread and Pumpkin pie.
I know a lot of women who should substitute their lipstick with glue sticks.
Whenever I`m on the phone with someone I like to scream "WAIT DON`T HANG UP" right as they`re hanging up & then not answer when they call back.
If you think people are stupid, randomly post "Happy Birthday" wishes on peoples FB page and see how many others tell them happy birthday.
There is no such thing as a stupid question, but there are such things as stupid people who ask questions.
Zoos would be cooler if you had to fight each animal before you could see the next one.
Stress from children can take 10 yrs off your life Drinking alcohol from stress can take another 10 yrs Based on my math, I died 5 yrs ago
Sarcasm is like a good game of chess. Most people don`t know how to play chess.
Folding laundry with a toddler is like trying to straighten a desk full of papers while a fan blows on it.
Stand for what you believe in. Or sit on the couch and have a couple of donuts. It`s a free country really.
If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other
Donuts: An excuse to eat cake for breakfast.
Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
Well another funny thing about this status is, by the time your done reading this, you realize it talks about absolutely nothing and you just wasted your time. Welcome to Facebook.
I would love to kill you with kindness, but all I have is this knife.