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I like to friend friends of friends then unfriend the first friend to freak out the friend of a friend.
I take a large amount of pride in always being prepared for a nap.
Someone told me I`m immature and need to grow up. Guess who`s not allowed in my treehouse now.
Guess what`s brown and sticky... a stick.
Worrying is a waste of time. It doesn’t change anything. It messes with your mind & steals your happiness.
Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? That thing hurts!
Stand for what you believe in. Or sit on the couch and have a couple of donuts. It`s a free country really.
I`d like to thank Tetris for making me really good at loading my dishwasher.
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Nothing says "I love you" like my cat aggressively bathing itself immediately after I pet her.
Stop calling them rednecks. The term is NASCAR-Americans. Y`all.
Sometimes I want to comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don’t wanna have to explain why I’m in your ‘Random Party Pics 08' album at 4am.
Men wear the pants in the relationship but women control the zipper.
I’m pretty sure I have atleast one anscestor who would be pretty pissed to find out that helicopters exist and I can’t fly one.
I went frisbee golfing today. I didn`t get an ace, but I did hit a guy and that was just as satisfying.