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Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces here today.
Karma is like a rubber-band: it can only stretch so far before it comes back and smacks you in the face.
I`m too lazy to be a stalker. You`ll have to come here. Bring coffee.
Thesaurus for sale, brand new, current, modern, original, unused, untapped, fresh, pristine, untouched, mint condition, spotless, untried...
My reaction to winning a billion dollars wouldn`t even come close to my 10 year old`s reaction when I told him that there`s no school today.
"Safely remove USB." Who does that?
decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!
If Tetris has taught me anything it`s that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear.
90% of the apps on my phone don’t do anything except send me notices that there’s a new version of itself.
If there’s one thing that I’ve learned it’s, that I should have learned way more than one thing.
feels guilty for not spending more time with my kids. I should really get them a Facebook account.
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
I`ve been sober 136 days. Not in a row, but still...
I only drink coffee because cocaine is too expensive.
drinks well with others.