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Ambulance is spelled backwards on the front so when you look in your rearview mirror you don`t confuse it with the other giant siren cubes.
You can tell a lot about a womans mood by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she`s probably angry.
The more you know. Daylight Savings started back in 1964 when Jerry Daylight Savings was an hour late for work & convinced his boss all the clocks were wrong.
If by O.P.P. you mean Other People’s Pancakes, then yes I’m down with O.P.P.
If there`s one thing in this world that everyone can agree on it`s... "Goonies never say die!"
At a wedding reception someone yelled: “All the married men please stand next to the person that made your life worth living” The bartender was nearly crushed to death.
I hate that feeling when you feel you wrote something good on facebook and then nobody likes your status. Depressing... :(
If I had three wishes, I`d use one for boobs. Because I`m pretty sure I could get everything else that I wanted if I had boobs.
Woke up to my teen cleaning the house for "no reason" and now I have a mystery to solve.
I can tell by your boobs that you`ve never seen a bar tab.
Stop Instagramming words. I`m not following you for your thoughts. Take off your f*cking shirt.
If he remembers your eye color after the first date, then you probably have small boobs
If I was on drugs, this post would be amazing.
Money isn`t the key to happiness ... Wait a minute, I`ll just pay to have a key made.
Bored? Simply send a text to a random number saying "I`m pregnant"