Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Exercise... the poor person`s plastic surgery
You guys are even more beautiful now that I`m wearing my "wine glasses".
So, if I lie to the government, it’s a felony. But if they lie to me its politics?
45 minutes on the treadmill is no big deal if you don`t turn it on
Randomly print things to give your co-workers the impression you’re working.
I tried my best to see things from your point a view, but your point of view is stupid.
My friends had a surprise party for me last night, well I called it a surprise party they called it an intervention.
I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas...
I have this empty feeling inside of me. Wait, there`s my drink.
Tip for Sunday Church: Don`t forget to keep your phones on silent, especially if your ringtone is `I like big butts and I do not lie!`
It`s impossible to bring up life insurance with your spouse without it seeming like you plan to have them whacked.
If you`re buying Smart Water for 4$ a bottle,, I`m sorry to tell you it`s not working
I just slammed hard on the brakes and found 3 lighters, $4.67 in change, condom box, empty flask, half an 1/8th, and a puppy.
Not every flower can say love, but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus did. Not every dummy can read, but look at you go...... *high 5*
I`m thinking one of us should probably break the news to the phone book makers that there`s this thing called Google now