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PLEASE - put this on your status if you know someone (or are related to someone) who has been eaten by dragons. Dragons are nearly unstoppable and, in case you didn`t know, they can also breathe fire. 93% of people won`t copy and paste this, because they have already been eaten by dragons. 6% of people are sitting in the shower armed with fire extinguishers and the remaining 1% are awesome and will re-post.
It`s actually pretty impressive how many poor decisions I can fit in a day.
FACT: The "sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don`t" is not really a good defense in court
What does lolz mean...Laugh out loud zebras?
I spend 60%of my day worrying that I might have mustard on my face or clothing. The other 40% I am eating mustard.
News flash, ladies. Men are settling for you, too.
I work out by ordering a small drink at Burger King, then get up 100 times to refill it.
All true wisdom is found on T-Shirts.
Hope you get down and funky on this the day of your birth!!
when god was giving out brains....you must have miss heard for trains..and missed your bugger
A three hour long movie adaptation of pages 74 and 75 of the Hobbit? Friggin count me in.
Drinking Game: Tape a fake mustache to your TV. Drink every time it lines up with someone`s face.
Teacher:If I had 2 oranges in my left hand and 2 mangoes in my right hand, what would I have?? Student:Big hands!!
Neil Armstrong was the first human being to step foot on the moon. Neil A. backwards spells "Alien"
Mini M&M`s - for when you just can`t finish an entire M&M