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Was sitting and doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a light saber.
Boy if these walls could talk I`d be like "HOLY SH!T TALKING WALLS"
Let`s start by taking some notes today. I`m fabulous bitches! Write that down.
If you have attention deficit disorder, throwing boomerangs isn`t for you.
So far my bracket is perfect! I can`t wait to fill the rest of it in.
Think you`re going crazy? When you get there, look for me and I`ll show you around.
Think about the nicest thing anyone`s ever said about you. Not really true, right?
Commence six months of the clock in my car being wrong.
I`m the guy at the gym laying face down on the treadmill telling everyone "I`m ok, I`m ok"
I love how twix come with two bars so I can eat one now and the other immediately after
Not to brag, but Netflix recommends certain movies just for me.
Bitch, I grew up on the streets!!...Yes, it was Sesame
Money isn`t the key to happiness ... Wait a minute, I`ll just pay to have a key made.
ATM`s need to have breathalyzers.