Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m kind of clueless about pop culture. I thought "Hogwarts" was an STD
If anyone asks, I`m drinking all this wine to collect corks for a pinterest project.
I like to keep my friends close, and my attractive friends even closer.
some people just need to be kicked... in the stomach... with steel toed boots
I love slip on shoes because you can slip them off just as easy to hit stupid people with them.
Texting totally changes your perception of how long stoplights are.
While most people are becoming older and wiser, I´m becoming older and better at making stuff up as I go along.
I hate waiting in lines. I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
I received an email from a hacker that had accessed my bank account. It simply read, "LOL".
Someone offered me grapes, but I declined. I`m not used to consuming wine in pill form.
If you want a successful relationship, find someone who likes the same thermostat setting you do.
I just fell down the stairs holding a guitar and accidentally wrote a One Direction song.
I have said it before. I will at it again. If anyone is into wife swapping. I will take a dirtbike or a puppy. Hit me up.
We`re all just nudists in disguise...
iTunes got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.