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This debt collector was just so surprised I answered my phone that they stuttered and hung-up lmao!!
OMG you guys! Almost hit a jogger while i was taking a selfie and driving today...so please you guys, be careful, do NOT jog.
Me- We need eggs. Hub- How many? Me- One. See if they will sell you just one.
In light of recent events, I have no choice but to deduct a full star from my Yelp review of Earth.
I’m pretty much always down for a snack.
My friend says to me, "What rhymes with orange?" I said, "No it doesn`t."
Instead of presidential debates, we should just have a dance-off.
The Fourth of July was an annual reminder of how useless my dog would be in a war.?
Some young men are like bottles of wine. They need to be tended to carefully & given time to mature; which is why I keep a few in my cellar.
How does one get suspended with full pay and benefits? Asking for a friend who is actually me.
I think it`s about time Taylor Swift wrote a song called "Maybe I`m the Problem"
My doctor said I need to workout with dumb-bells. Would any of you like to go jogging with me?
A company has announced a new service where you carpool with strangers. It`s a new cutting-edge technology called "taking the bus."
How’s your day going? Here’s a good way to tell: Is it “already” 2:00pm or “only” 2:00pm?
Cops don’t like it when you ask them “Need some help?” especially when you’re wearing a Batman costume.