Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I swear, watching people at a 4-way stop sign is like watching ‘Night at the Roxbury.’ “Him? Me? Oh Me? Me or Him?”
My Memory.....The Second shortest thing I have.
Next time you take your dog for a walk pretend he`s solving a mystery.
Damn your Hott!...........................Freaking Sun! lmao =P
I have been snoring a lot lately and apparently my coworkers find it distracting
Adding "just sayin" to a smart-a$$ed comment makes you even more of an a$$hole. Just sayin
Did you hear about the Cannibal that "passed" his Uncle in the Jungle?...............
I can come up with plenty of ways to do nothing.
My talent is being wasted, if that counts as a talent.
Men ask us if we`re naked when we tell them we`re taking a bath. THAT`S why they pay more for their car insurance.
I have no super powers. I`m guessing I`m the villain.
No officer I wasn’t texting, that’s dangerous. I was checking my email.
Hey Pringles, it`s time to widen the can. Your core demographic isn`t exactly thin-wristed.
What doesn`t kill you, will hopefully try again
I wonder if these beers are performance enhancing. I’m feeling pretty awesome!!