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Woke up with morning wood but she wouldn`t!
So, basically Alexa is just some know-it-all with no actual job skills.
A coworker wouldn`t stop bragging about her upcoming trip to Hawaii, so I emailed her a bunch of pictures of plane crashes.
I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.
I do my best proofreading after I hit `send`.
It must be really hard to judge wet t-shirt contests. I saw one recently, and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
I am not sure why a guy getting trapped in a vagina sculpture is big news...men have been trapped by vaginas for many years.
Over 500 channels and not a DAMN THING to watch! I suppose I should subscribe to some of them...
If it’s the thought that counts, then I should probably be in jail
Being an adult is a lot like going to the vet. We`re all excited for the ride until we realize what it`s like where we`re going.
Trying to get in shape for all those people I`m not having sex with.
Vodka: Taking you from a 6 to a 10 in five easy shots
I’m jealous of a book character for having sex with another character but sure come ask my advice about your marriage.
I’m always disappointed when a liar’s pants don’t actually catch on fire.
Will someone please tell ugly girls with small boobs that their opioion doesnt really matter.