Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
*licks finger, holds it up in the air* ah yes, just as I suspected. wind.
I am not available because I am looking at porn that takes up the whole computer screen
How many men does it take to open a beer? None! It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
Movies are so unrealistic. This guy`s using his computer to access an alien ship & not once has it asked if he wants to upgrade his Adobe.
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
Flip flops are fun because every time you take a step it`s like a high-five for your feet.
Saying “do I smell popcorn ” right after you fart, so everyone takes in a deep breath.
have you ever tried waking up in the morning? its horrible, the sun`s the wrong place and your head is so damn heavy.
i m not totally useless, i can b used as bad example
After the doctor left the exam room from my prostate exam. The nurse came in with three words I didn`t want to hear. "Who was that?"
People with kids, your posts are all the birth control I need.
My therapist says I`m paranoid, which is exactly what you might expect from a shapeshifting lizard hired by the CIA to track my whereabouts.
It’s amazing how everyone cries for free speech until someone says something that they don’t like.
Why isn’t the default for online shopping “view all”? Who likes to skip through 20 pages of only 12 items…
My boss yelled at me today “It’s the fifth time you’ve been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!” I said, “Probably that it’s Friday?"...