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"I don`t know what the f*ck this tastes like." - first person to eat chicken.
Birthdays back then: Wow! Look at all these presents!. Birthdays now : Wow damn look at all these notifications!.
www.amish.com. How did this happen?
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
Every year new words are added onto the dictionary, yet no new positions are added to the karma sutra.
The IRS suggests filing early to reduce the chance that someone will steal your identity and file before you. Honestly, if somebody wants my identity so badly they`ll file my tax return for me, go crazy. You can mow my lawn while you`re at it, too.
i wish i could sleep ... but my damn A.D.D. kicks in and basically 1 sheep, 2 sheep, cow, turtle, duck, Ol McDonald had a farm, HEEEY Macerena.
Don`t hide your feelings. Hide the evidence.
I think today I`m going to cut off the sleeves of my snuggie and walk around the neighborhood pretending I`m in a Clint Eastwood western movie.
I couldn`t be on a reality show because I wouldn`t want my mom to see how many times I make the jerk-off motion when we talk on the phone
Every member of my family is polite & courteous which I why our pantry has 17 boxes of cookies that contain exactly one remaining cookie
Honk if you want to see my finger.
With my eyes. That`s how I roll.
I turned out ok for a kid raised in a large part by Bugs Bunny.
Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side.