Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wonder what "don`t touch" is in Braille.
My wife wants to have more kids but I don`t want to have to learn anyone else`s name.
It takes two people to lie....one to lie.....the other to listen
If you sneeze near an atheist, they just say "science appreciates you".
My wife and I use the pull-out method of birth control where we pull out our phones and ignore each other every night.
I found out why I`m still single. Apparently, you have to go outside and let people see you.
I love facebook... It`s the only place where I can talk to a wall and not look like an idiot...
Guys if a woman shaves hers legs she wants you to touch them..... You just have to make sure she knows You.
Pokémon means a totally different thing if your stuck in a Jamaican prison.
Billion dollar idea: A phone that charges using body fat!
I am not sure, but I think I just heard my cup of coffee say, "You are my b*tch"
I just lost another hour trying to figure out how to reset the clock in my car.
What did the crop say to the farmer? Stop picking on me
No matter what I get, it’s impossible not to sound like a douche when saying my order at Starbucks.
The only thing I can fix in this world tonight is another drink.