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I`m all for the "going green" thing, but I just can`t bring myself to buy toilet paper that says, "100% Recycled."
We all have that funny voice we use when talking to dogs, babies... and idiots!
Thinking about moving to Alabama just so I don’t have to scroll through all those other states when I sign up for websites.
I have cat-like reflexes. If I hear a loud noise, I keep napping.
Don’t look unless you’re prepared to see.
I`m not the sort of person you should put on speakerphone.
Eat whatever you want,and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight ...Eat them too..!
I’m beginning to think that I buy bananas just to watch them die a slow death in my kitchen.
my friends status was "standing on the edge of a cliff" ... so I poked him
All my life I`ve wanted to learn to juggle. I just never had the balls to do it.
If my calculations are right, by November of 2019 my uneven usage of conditioner will finally lap the shampoo and I will run out of both at the exact same time.
I don`t appreciate my son`s teacher circling all the wine stains on his homework.
The best thing about telepathy is.. I know, right!
I can think of other ways to eat fresh, but I`ll settle for this subway sandwich.
It`s always fun to act like you don`t see the person running to catch the elevator your in just as the door starts closing.