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Chuck-E-Cheese, because it`s never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling..
I hate waking up all hungover, eyebrow shaved, and a d!ck drawn on my face ... Especially since I was drinking alone last night.
I`ve taken my kids all over the country, but their favorite place to be is still "in the way."
Everyone always talks about the early bird. How about the early worm? How´d that work out for him?
drink beer ?? save water
If you ever hit rock bottom, bring some beer. I`m almost out.
no..i am not drunk, floors needs hugs too ! :p
Some people are like Polaroids. You have to shake them violently before they make any sense.
The biggest cause of cancer in mice is research.
My wife just bought a $50 bottle of shampoo. So guys, party at my house this weekend because apparently we won the Lottery!!!
Alcohol doesn`t get people drunk, people get people drunk. Drunk people get other drunk people extra drunk.
You know it`s getting bad when the voices in your head start texting you
Made the decision that I`m done having kids. Yet every morning I wake up and there they are asking me for breakfast.
I wanted to book an Elvis impersonator for a party so I phoned them up and got a call centre. It said `press 1 for the money, 2 for the show.`
You know that little thing inside your head that keeps you from saying things you shouldn`t? ... Yeah, I don`t have one of those.