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My train of thought likes to circle around the station a few times, take some wrong turns, and end up totally lost.
After committing a crime, always carry a fire extinguisher. No one gets stopped while running with a fire extinguisher.
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money.
Life is NOT like a box of chocolates. It`s more like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today, can burn your a$$ tomorrow.
If I would have known there would be a Facebook, I would have written “eff off forever” instead of “keep in touch” in your yearbook.
I add "Drink Beer" to my weekend to-do list so I know I`ll at least get one thing done.
was going to argue with you...but then I remembered I really didn`t care
Sometimes you just have to logout...
keep scrolling I`ve got nothing....
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
Every photo taken inside my house has at least one laundry basket in the background.
That moment when you spell a word so wrong that even auto correct is like....`I`ve got nothing man.`
Please be careful on the roads. Lots of people are drinking exsessively and letting their wives drive.
This morning I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering. 98 of them said, "How did you get in here?"
Sure, I`ll show up at your Halloween Party... I`ll be coming as the invisible man....