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They call cat people crazy but they`re not the ones outside at 5AM putting fresh dog poop into little baggies.
I hope I never get to the age when my body can forecast the weather.
Dear college students, Sorry about your GPA. - Netflix
trying to do something before the microwave is finished is sort of like trying to complete the countdown maths problem on countdown...
Just give me coffee and no one gets hurt.
Why doesn’t McDonalds have an order taking microphone on both sides of the car, yet?
I`m not lazy. I`m just highly motivated to not do anything.
At the end of the day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes?
Anyone else think there should be a sarcasm font?
Finally realizing that Hotel California is about Facebook. “…you can check in anytime you like, but you can never leave…”
An egg salad is really just a chicken salad that is really underdone.
This drag race is not at all what I expected. Are they in dresses inside of the cars, at least?
Don’t you hate it when spiders bite you and you get like zero superpowers?
My desire to be well informed is currently in deep conflict with my need to stay sane.
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it´s for them?