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I hate when I wake up in the middle of the night to get a quick drink of water and then accidentally eat a whole pizza and a cheesecake.
I put the pro in inappropriate.
Apparently slim chance and fat chance have the same meaning.
Sometimes I wonder how people who don`t have kids get their TV remotes from the other side of the room.
Ugly people who live in glass houses…shouldn`t live in glass houses.
"Being naked isn`t fun" - said no one ever.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If your parents told you you`re beautiful, they`re lyin to you..:D
Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket .. I´d miss you alot and think of you often.
Men ask us if we`re naked when we tell them we`re taking a bath. THAT`S why they pay more for their car insurance.
Hooray ! My face book film has been nominated for an Academy Award
The parents with the ugliest babies take and post the most pictures.
Doormats are a gateway rug.
Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist. While you guys were arguing about the glass of water. I drank it. – The Opportunist
Mail from Grandma: FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:No subject