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A person who says they will never lie to you is probably lying already.
I am so deep in the friendzone I have been introduced to her boyfriend`s parents.
Remember years ago when we didn`t have facebook and we had to take pictures of our food and get the film developed at the chemist get all your friends round your house and show them what you have been eating ...the good old days
Apparently when a trainer asks you why you want to get in shape and you answer "revenge" it will raise a couple eyebrows.
I hate people that take drugs, specially U.S. Customs and the D.E.A.
Here`s a list of helpful tips for meeting a great girl: 1. Don`t be me.
Not to brag but when I push it, I push it real good.
Think you`re going crazy? When you get there, look for me and I`ll show you around.
Whenever I move into a new neighborhood, the first thing I familiarize myself with is the liquor store coz you know priorities.
Suggested movie theater prices: Adults - $9.00, Under 12 - $ 6.00, Under 3 - $249.00
Did anyone else ever wonder why the Easter Bunny gave away chocolate eggs? Last I checked, bunnies don’t lay eggs. What kind of sick new species is this?
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, “well that’s not going to happen.”
Parts of my body are turning 50 Shades of Gray
My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
pens and pencils are drumsticks and desks and textbooks are drum kits. its a fact.