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Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
To this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes a great Subway sandwich.
I`m not crazy I`m just special! No wait maybe I am crazy.. One second, I have to talk to myself about this hold on...
oh look at the time, it`s time to not care
Don´t call me crazy. I much prefer the term "mentally hilarious"
Sometimes I really want to throw paper at people. Brick shaped Paper. Made of brick.
There’s actually a thing called “Play Dates “ in 2018. In 1984 we called that “Going outside to play”
"Spring Ahead" this weekend for Daylight Saving Time proves there is a much quicker way than Facebook to lose an hour in your life....
didn`t get much sleep last night, I tried counting sheep but they kept cutting in line, confused the hell outta me!!
I`m no different than any other bachelor. I put my pants on one leg at a time and clean the house once every new girlfriend.
I don`t appreciate my son`s teacher circling all the wine stains on his homework.
mermaids swim by twerking do you ever just think about that
It`s called fall because everything is falling; leaves, temperature, bank account, gpa, motivation...
If we`re all expected to have sex with our Valentine on Valentine`s Day, I`m truly dreading Presidents` Day.
I can relate to Alice in Wonderland. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with hope that it might magically solve her problems.