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Why I don’t like people: 1% logical reasons. 99% just because.
Just told the guy at the second drive-thru window that the guy at the first drive-thru window wants to fight him.
Why do we call it toilet paper? Does anyone wipe their toilet with it?
You know what’s huge in Japan? ..Sumo wrestlers. ;)
My house looks like I`m losing a game of Jumanji.
Momma didn`t raise no fool. I did this all on my own.
Feeling bored? Post a status on Facebook that says "Barack Obama 2016" and buckle up for the ride of your life.
That amazing moment when you post a comment on Facebook and everyone likes it.
All my passwords are protected by amnesia.
Apparently 50% of people prefer pizza to sex. What is wrong with people? Have they never had pizza?
All I`m saying is that Schwarzenegger isn`t the only one who woke up naked next to a dumpster in 1984.
I`m not saying you`re stupid; you just have bad luck when it comes to thinking.
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they "boldly go where no one has gone before" they always end up meeting someone?
Some people are just beautifully wrapped boxes of crap.
Whoever named anteaters, solid effort right there.