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Iām not the type of person you want to put on speaker during a phone conversation.
i want a cute boy to let me hold his hand and his credit card
Some things get in the way of my happiness, so I ignore them.
Kids today don`t know what hardship is. When I was younger I sometimes had to wait ALL DAY for MTV to play my favorite video.
Facebook needs a "settle down" button.. You tap on a friend`s profile, that locks them out for a day so they can work through stuff privately..
Always remember, it`s better to arrive late than to arrive ugly.
I pointed to two hags sitting across the bar from us and told my friend "That`s us in 10 years". She said "That`s a mirror".
I hate it when I think I`m buying organic vegetables and I get home to discover they`re just regular doughnuts.
If I died and went straight to hell, it would take me more than a week to realize that I`m not at work anymore....
The Patriots defensive coverage was almost as bad as the coverage by Obamacare.
Always believe a woman when she says, "you don`t really wanna know"
I just went into an AOL chat room to ask someone how to start a fire with sticks.
Never run after a man or a bus, there is always another one coming.
Someone tore off my warning label when I was born.
I use these ( ... ) a lot. For which, I believe, the technical term is Dotty Dot Dots.