Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m pretty sure if I put what was actually on my mind as my Facebook status, all my friends would delete me.
Beheaded our snowman to let winter know we mean business.
Guys... If the girl your getting down with doesn`t even have time to fake an orgasm..... It`s prob best you just make your sandwich
I had to leave the bowling alley right in the middle of the game. I didn`t have time to spare.
The best things in life are free, but they still screw you on shipping.
Don`t talk to me like I`m stupid until you know for sure.
When I drink I become everybody`s friend which makes up for my hating everybody when I`m sober.
People who actually rate porn videos are the unsung heroes of our generation.
Sometimes my life feels like a 40 year long episode of Punk`d...
What`s cardio, and can I eat it?
If anybody steals my identity, at least I’ll know who to look for.
Horoscopes: When you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend to blame for your failures, try the solar system
What do you mean being awesome for another year isn`t a resolution?
I`m going to become a hermit as soon as I find a cave with a decent wifi connection.
I got so much Crazy going on that the term "Bi-Polar" would be excessively underestimating my condition, let`s go with "Multi-Polar" from now on.........