Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Don`t do anything you`re not prepared to explain to a paramedic...
Eventually I will find Bigfoot and he will tell me all he knows about Hide & Seek.
NEWS FLASH: Man arrested for having sex with a tree.....Police confirm he had wood!!!
I don`t really want to hear about the marathon, unless of course, they add an element of suspense ... Like a Bear at mile 3
Whoever left me in charge of all this booze is going to have a lot to answer for tomorrow.
Hold boobs not grudges.
I got BOMBED last night and decided to do my own taxes and guess what! I`m getting 4 million dollars back this year!
Actually, I prefer to smile on the `inside`, then no one knows what you`re up to....
I’d go to the gym but I’m still tinkering with the ultimate workout playlist I started three years ago.
Am I the only one who thinks my body should have better things to do than make nipple hair?
Coffee`s a great way to fool yourself into believing you`re going to have a productive day.
When I get a headache, I take 2 aspirins and keep away from children, just like the bottle says.
Happiness is realizing you can have as many drinks as you want ... cause you`re not driving.
My box of animal crackers says "May contain nuts." So I`m inspecting each animal before I eat it...just in case.
The phrase “Ignore it and it will go away.” does NOT apply to being chased by a dozen cop cars.....trust me on this one.