Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Love your neighbor ... but don`t get caught.
Dumped my multiple personality girlfriend yesterday. She took it well, not so well, and she was really upset...
You`re so dumb you have to get naked to count to 21.
Million Dollar Idea: Hire a bunch of people with OCD and start a cleaning company.
It’s not that I don’t care what you’re saying; I was just thinking about food.
I wish I could smack the stupid out of people. And if you think this status is about you ... Smack yourself for me!
If you don’t count any of my failures, I’m quite successful.
Once in a while, someone amazing will come into your life. And here I am!
I don’t care how loud I’m laughing, I’m having fun and you’re not.
Just so you know, when you repeat what you just said I won`t be listening then either.
Just seen this girl walk into a lamp post! I could have stopped her but that wouldn`t have been funny would it
I don’t need pepper spray to stop a mugger, I just open my wallet and blow the dust in their eyes.
Why is it always the same person getting in your way from start to checkout at the grocery store?
I just want to be rich enough to pay people to not talk to me.
I wonder if Superman ever put glasses on Lois Lane`s dog & she was like, "I`ve never seen this dog before. Is this a new dog?"