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Burger King is offering delivery service in some areas. I don’t trust it. Everyone knows it’s impossible to drive without eating the fries.
You’d think with as much time women spend looking at their ass in the mirror, they would be able to reverse into a parking spot.
It`s all fun and games until you find out she`s a psychotic bitch...
You can correct people`s grammar or you can have friends. But you can`t do both.
A comprehensive list of the things women have taught me: 1) I`m wrong.
I Wonder what Facebook Employees do to waste time at work ?
Sorry just got your text. Do you still need to go to the hospital?
make little things count. teach midgets math.
When you drink alcohol you are just borrowing happiness from tomorrow.
The great thing about snow is it makes your lawn look as good as your neighbors.
if i get a friend request from you and your profile picture is a car i`ll asume your a transformer
That one day of fame on Facebook because it`s your birthday.
American Sniper proves that not even being in an active war zone will prevent your spouse from calling you at work.
FACT: Men are much less likely to divulge a secret than women. Probably because they weren`t really listening to begin with.
I’m usually that person who has no idea what’s going on.