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I try to avoid nice people, so they can stay that way.
I like restaurants because the people have to be nice and feed you.
Damn your Hott!...........................Freaking Sun! lmao =P
Success sleeps with u in private. Failure insults u in public ! Aa
If we agree, I`m probably being sarcastic ... Or I`m drunk
Admit it...Life yould be boring without me.
How about first you show me your benefits and THEN I`ll let you know if we can be friends.
is accepting applications. Needed someone to keep me from doing dumb stuff. See previous post.
Inviting a friend to play Candy Crush Saga is like hosting an intervention and providing the crack.
1. Go to police station 2. Say a gang mugged you 3. Describe your own relatives to police sketch artist 4. Claim free family portrait
Sorry I missed your call. I was peeing and had both hands full.
Please help control the pet population, have that special talk with your pet!
What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed? Oh sheet.
LIFE HACK: Sneak into doctor`s waiting rooms instead of subscribing to magazines.
"Don`t let a hot date turn into a due date."--my father`s actual sex talk with me when I was 13.