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Ok but how old is your child in minutes?
I keep myself in good enough shape to outrun most women and children during emergencies.
I don`t know what I would do without you, but I bet it`s awesome.
Tyler on Facebook says he ran 1.7 miles this morning… So based on calculations, I have 35 minutes to ransack his house tomorrow morning.
Don`t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
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It`s so awkward when you get texted to come over and you have to pretend like you weren`t already inside their house.
I wish I could forget you as easy as I forget my passwords.
I tried to give a cute waitress my phone number by writing it on the credit card receipt but accidentally tipped her 9 billion dollars.
If a Jehovah`s Witness dies and goes to heaven does God hide behind the Pearly Gates and pretend he`s not home?
I love Ebay. Sold my homing pigeon 8 times last month.
Imagine if trees gave off WiFi signals, We would be planting so many trees. And we`d probably save the planet too! Too bad they only produce the oxygen we breath :/
I kinda like zombies...but can we go ahead & decide whether they can run fast or just walk? ... my apocolypse plans depend on it ... thanks!
Boobs make me forget about all the bad things in the world.
My entire working knowledge of automotive repair is derived from the song "The Wheels on the Bus"