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People will do odd things to get even.
The only real difference between my 20s and my 30s is that now I make all my bad decisions before midnight.
Pandora has spoiled me. Five seconds into any conversation and I`m looking for the thumbs-down button.
I see your Full House and I raise you 3 episodes of Home Improvement. -Me, not knowing how to play poker, but loving 90`s TV
Single ? I`m not single, I`m in a long standin relationship with fun and freedom ! ;)
Iām not shy, Iām just really good out figuring out who is not worth talking to.
The only thing worse than sitting on a cold toilet seat is sitting on a warm one.
Resisting the urge to write "Just shut the f*ck up" on someones status.
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
Look Bruce, just because you call it the "Batcave" doesn`t change the fact that you still live in your parents basement.
if truth is what u want...in return alcohol is all I want...
All fortune cookies should just read, "You will have diarrhea for the next 24 hours.
"Crazy" is just another name for "Someone who knows how to have fun"
There is no logical reason why short pants should cost the same as long pants.
Can you imagine if Facebook and Twitter just decided to shut down and you see all these confused people coming out of their house squinting at the sun.