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Girls think that having their period is the most inconvenient thing they can experience. They`ve obviously never dated a girl who was on her period.
Behind every man there is a woman wondering if going to jail for murder is as bad as it sounds.
I just researched the medicinal name for Viagra..... MYCOXAPHAYLYN
I`ve been told that I never take responsibility for anything, and it`s all your fault.
In all my years, I have never finished a pencil.
justin bieber
Nothing says I have faith in God like the bullet proof glass on the Pope`s car.
Teacher: Why are you late!? Me: There was a man who lost a $100 bill..Teacher: That’s nice. Were you helping him look for it? Me: No, I was standing on it until he f*cked off.
My brain has too many tabs open.
I want to lose weight, but I don`t want to get caught up in one of those "Eat right and exercise" scams.
Is it physically possible to be sad in rollerskates? Cause I think my cat`s just being dramatic.
Day 10: I am thankful there are only 20 days left for all my friends to be thankful about how awesome their lives are.
I can’t remember ever being told I’m a bad listener
is giving everyone permission to steal, and use this status.
Is there really a need for constipation medicines and stool softeners in a world where burritos and tacos exist?