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Burger King is offering delivery service in some areas. I donโ€™t trust it. Everyone knows itโ€™s impossible to drive without eating the fries.
โ€œI went to Jaredโ€ I whispered as she slowly opened the velvety box of Subway coupons.
Whatever you do in life, always give 100%โ€ฆunless youโ€™re donating bloodโ€ฆ
You know whatโ€™s funnier than watching someone trip and fall? Absolutely nothing!
I just watched a puppy do something really cute. It was like a real life YouTube video.
Money can buy imitation happiness. Iโ€™m cool with that.
What`s the lowest IQ someone can have while still being a relatively full functioning adult? My wife wants to know.
Have you ever wondered what a job application at Hooters is like? Maybe they just give you a bra and say, โ€œhere, fill this outโ€.
The first rule of the OCD Club is to have a second rule so there is an even number of rules.
you know you`ve been facebooking too much when you accidentally say "LOL", in person...
Free middle fingers for everyone!!!
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it`s up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with!!
I donโ€™t care how loud Iโ€™m laughing, Iโ€™m having fun and youโ€™re not.
Time to get Star Spangled hammered. Happy 4th you crazy Americans.
My favorite machine at the gym is the one you put change in and snacks come out