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Does the Food Network deliver?
People who don`t know what they want should not use the drive thru!
Hump Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Offering a homeless dude $5 from across the street is my version of Frogger.
Another World`s Oldest Man has died. This is beginning to look suspicious.
The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. At least, that`s what the restraining order says.
Hey people who buy bottled water for their dogs, can I have some money?
The woman that just drove past me was either doing a huge yawn or her brakes have failed....
Guys...dont mess up and buy her the wrong brand of vacuum cleaner for Valentines Day this year. Spend a little extra for a really good one ... Just tring to help.
Don`t you wish it was as easy to adjust the brightness level on people as it is on your phone?
I know its true love when I like you even when I`m sober.
I would never survive a real job because I dont like being told when I can eat lunch...
I always put in a full eight hours at work. Spread out over the course of the week.
I like to read magazines about parenting. That way, I can learn all the things my parents did wrong and I can go back to them and say "See? This is the reason I am like I am."
Babies dont have parents, they have staff.