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Burger King is offering delivery service in some areas. I don’t trust it. Everyone knows it’s impossible to drive without eating the fries.
“I went to Jared” I whispered as she slowly opened the velvety box of Subway coupons.
Whatever you do in life, always give 100%…unless you’re donating blood…
You know what’s funnier than watching someone trip and fall? Absolutely nothing!
I just watched a puppy do something really cute. It was like a real life YouTube video.
Money can buy imitation happiness. I’m cool with that.
What`s the lowest IQ someone can have while still being a relatively full functioning adult? My wife wants to know.
Have you ever wondered what a job application at Hooters is like? Maybe they just give you a bra and say, “here, fill this out”.
The first rule of the OCD Club is to have a second rule so there is an even number of rules.
you know you`ve been facebooking too much when you accidentally say "LOL", in person...
Free middle fingers for everyone!!!
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it`s up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with!!
I don’t care how loud I’m laughing, I’m having fun and you’re not.
Time to get Star Spangled hammered. Happy 4th you crazy Americans.
My favorite machine at the gym is the one you put change in and snacks come out