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You never know what you are missing,until you clean your room.
Thank God! the women with 3 boobs was a hoax... I just couldn`t wrap my hands around it....
I would watch tennis more often if they replaced the ball boys with untrained golden retrievers.
Sometimes I wish I wasn`t rich and handsome and delusional.
There are too many people who could ruin my life by posting a screenshot of a text conversation we’ve had.
I wanna say something. I´m gonna put it out there. If u like it, u can take it, if you don´t, send it back. "I want to be on you"
If you think about it,, Batman was pretty lazy about naming all his stuff.
If a Jehovah`s Witness dies and goes to heaven...does God hide behind the pearly gates and pretend he`s not in?
How long have I been working here? ... Ever since they threatened to fire me.
In the spirit of spring cleaning and Easter, I`m keeping the dust bunnies as decorations.
We should not have trusted anything Charlotte wrote in her web. She was consistently talking out of her ass.
You can always tell a lot about a woman the way she pours gasoline around your car.
I think I can survive on Mars since they found water for my coffee.
Just got back from the car dealership and long story short, I`m now the proud owner of a giant circus tent.
Some people pass through our lives just to teach us not to be like them.