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You`re only limited by your own imagination! And money. And talent. And genetics. And time. And other people. Go for it!
I always read my wife`s Horoscope to see what kind of day I`M going to have...!!
Cauliflower is just broccoli ghosts.
I just found out cock fighting is done with roosters and now it feels like this 6 months of training has been wasted.
Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles and pay to walk through a field to pick our own for $27.
It`s tax season. Anyone have some spare kids?
Lord, help me be the person my psychiatrist medicates me to be.
Always remember, it`s better to arrive late than to arrive ugly.
My clothes are 75% off and this is not a sale.
bitches want what they cant have..or thats what I keep telling myself
Hey, sorry I missed your call. I saw your name on the caller ID and I didn’t want to ruin my day by talking to you.
If horror movies have taught me anything, it`s lock up your butcher knives if your child addresses you as "mother" or "father."
If I`m guilty of anything it`s loving you too much. Oh and indecent exposure...I suppose trespassing too.
I smiled and waved at my neighbour so I bet the first thing she`ll do today is buy bedroom curtains.
People like you are the reason people like me take pills.