Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Is it hibernation time yet? Because I am 100% into that.
It’s the getting ahead that I’m running behind on.
*puts selfie on top of christmas tree because I am the star*
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she`s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
So apparently RSVP`ing back to a wedding invite `maybe next time` isn`t the correct response
Do they have to play movies so loud at the theatre? I litterally have to scream into my phone.
An empty web browsing history is a sure sign of guilt.
When someone tells you they are getting a divorce, a high five is not the right answer. Or so I`ve been told, twice now.
I never mix business with pleasure, ......unless i call an escort.
There are two types of people in this world: those who know how to handle stress, and those who need bail money.
I wish "You idiot" was an appropriate way to end a work email.
Halloween really is the perfect time to get rid of all those TacoBell hot sauce packets.
My exercise routine needs to include a little more than opening difficult pistachios.
I have no idea what swag is, but I`m fairly certain what I have is the opposite of whatever it is.
Relationship has 12 letters, but then again so does alcohollllll