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Honesty is the best policy, unless you`re trying to return something that you`ve already worn.
Is it rude to throw breath mints in someones mouth while they`re talking?
I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.
Life is very funny, if you take the time to watch it.
I`m not ignoring you, I am simply giving you time to reflect on what an idiot you are being.
If anyone could do it, it wouldn`t be called PROcrastination.
Lol at birds that walk places.
went to the book store earlier to buy a Where´s Waldo book. When I got there, I couldn´t find the book anywhere. Well played Waldo, well played.
The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers make any f*cking sense.
It`s like the people in this restroom don`t even want my help unbuttoning their pants. STOP RUNNING AWAY I JUST WANT TO HELP YOU
My wife told me I suffer from a lack of imagination. I said, "Yeah? Well you suffer from a lack of imagination." That showed her.
I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?" I think people are taking it as a challenge.
I just changed my WiFi password to "blowmefirst." I can`t wait for someone to ask me for it!
If I ever get arrested I am going to ask for a status update instead of a phone call.
Our kids biggest challenge will be to find a username that`s not already taken.