Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I thought Match .com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it`s a website to find love. So I was close.
You know it`s a good night when you wake up with gum in your bellybutton.
I`d be willing to sleep my way to the top if it actually meant sleeping.
Just belted the dog in the drivers seat and pushed the car up to the drive-thru window
I`m trying to cut back on posting pics to Instagram, so I`m not going to eat anymore.
Facebook should win an Emmy for Best Daytime Dramas.
I liked you better before we met.
I don’t use Siri because I have to deal with enough women who have no personality and know everything.
Nothing stops a yawn faster than a dog trying to lick inside your mouth.
God is testing me today, but I don`t think he realizes I`m a `C` student.
Though we made many advancements in society, sadly, pimpin’ STILL isn’t easy.
Think we could get the North Korean hackers to end "Keeping Up With The Kardashians"?
Miley Cyrus is not unique. I have been having full body spasms and licking random objects for decades.
You couldn`t handle five minutes in my head.
Suddenly I can`t remember if it`s ok to use tampons as Nerf darts or if it`s the other way around.