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I think I`m gonna shave my legs so that there`s less wind resistance when I run to the fridge for a beer.
I`m gonna start a secret porn industry and call it "The Illuminaughty"
People who text back... "kk" ... Are so annoying! ....and almost racist
India launched a rocket to Mars yesterday… That’s a heck of a place to put a call center.
My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend and then not doing anything when it comes.
Remember when double entry was an accounting term?
I hate people that take drugs, specially U.S. Customs and the D.E.A.
Don’t trust people that dislike pizza. They’re probably not human.
I`m a passionate supporter of things that don`t inconvenience me or require any type of action or physical effort.
Girl Scout cookie season is scientifically timed to occur just as people are giving up on their New Year`s resolutions.
All my passwords are protected by amnesia.
The institutions won`t take me so I am all yours.
You know you had an interesting day when your Google search history includes "rubber panda".
If I was just learning English and you told me a sport called BOXING takes place in a SQUARE area called a RING, I`d probably give up.
Doing donuts in the parking lot sounds fun. Eating donuts in the parking lot sounds better.