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To all them girls who go out , looking sexy as hell but have boyfriends.......Please continue to do so when you`re married.
Bitches be trippin..... ok, maybe I pushed that one.
True love doesn`t care about the look or size of your wallet, it`s all about what`s inside ..... the wallet.
I was disappointed to learn that the Discovery Channel’s program “Deadliest Catch” wasn’t about first marriages.
I gauge a person’s wealth by the level of protection on their iPhone. No case, huge salary.
Here`s to ignoring our real problems and getting outraged about something on the internet.
If you ever hear me say that I missed you it`s only because I have bad aim.
I try to find the good in every situation. I meant “food.” I try to find the food in every situation.
As if " cray cray" wasn`t irritating enough, people have started shortening it to " cray"....that`s just stu stu
I paid attention to the construction signs and got in the correct lane. You ignored them for miles and now you want me to let you in. Not gonna happen.
I`m sexy and I know it really is....... your slutty and you blow it.
No matter how lazy you feel, just remember that Goldilocks decided to take a nap during a break and enter.
Bacon is the only exception that does not fall under the 5 second rule for dropped food.
Hey, did you know that in two days, tomorrow will be yesterday!
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.