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Some things get in the way of my happiness, so I ignore them.
You only live once.......Unless someone has a defribrilator
Honestly, my biggest fear about becoming a zombie in the apocalypse is all the walking.
Cool thing about winter is after grocery shopping your car can double as your refrigerator.
Old video games couldn`t be won. They just got harder and harder until you died. Just like real life.
The internet has made me so ADD. Started off googling "how to replace a timing belt" ended up watching a video on how to milk a camel.
Head and Shoulders should make a body wash called Everything Else
If you are not sweating while doing it...then you are doing it wrong.
I say the things better left unsaid.
Since light travels faster than sound, isn`t that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
Tieam... problem solved
I hope common sense is the next cool trend.
I`m not getting married till Pizza Hut allows gift registry.
when people fall in love they are called " love birds." when they fight they are called "angry birds."
This salad tastes like Iād rather be fat.