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When I die, I don`t want to go sober...
You know its cold out ......when you go outside..... and it`s cold out
Professor X can move anything with his mind... except his legs.
doesn`t mind that people start spreading rumors about me.. it’s when they spread the truth that I’m screwed ;)
Hey ladies, I just love "Austrailian" kissing...it`s a lot like "French" kissing only Down Under!
Ways to get to my heart: 1) food ... that’s pretty much it
So Monday and Tuesday sucked. But, with the right mix of caffeine, alcohol and mushrooms, Wednesday doesn´t even have to happen at all.
In hell you`re always trying to spread butter that`s too cold.
Trust me ...... I can`t believe I`m still here either.
Every time the grocery baggers ask if I want help to my car, I feel like telling them yes and climbing in the cart.
Trust me, I am a liar.
This strip mall certainly is misleading And I probably should put my clothes back on now.
People who say you can´t buy happiness just don´t know where to shop.
One night, as I as lying in bed, I looked up at the stars and thought to myself: "What the f#ck happened to the roof?"
HR says I`m not allowed to scream "OH GOD IT BURNS MAKE IT STOP" when I walk through the front door at work anymore :(