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I have to wonder why we have "non-essential" government employees in the first place.
DUI attorneys should buy some ad space on those Taco Bell hot sauce packets.
my wish for tonight is for the person reading this status to have a Good Night!
Everyone has that one friend that can turn any conversation into something dirty....I am usually that friend.
If revenge is a dish best served cold AND revenge is sweet then revenge is basically ice cream. Bring it.
When a girl says she wants you to splurge on her, calm down, it`s not what you think...
I`m the type of person who goes out to a restaurant and orders a veggie burger with cheese and bacon on it.
I was just watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury.. No worries, I should be okay in a couple of days..
My version of Heaven would be filled with all the things I`d probably go to hell for.
If you have a Selfie Stick Pro, go back two spaces.
Disneyland. The world’s biggest people trap, built by a mouse.
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. It`s true... The less I see of someone, the more I like them!
Oh really? It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown? How many muscles does it take to mind your own business
Instead of LOL, try SALTS ( smiled a little, then stopped)
Noise canceling toilets should be a thing.