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Why are there stitch marks on zombies? Who the heck is giving them medical attention?!
Surly not EVERYBODY was Kung-Foo fighting?
My most frequent walk of shame is from one bathroom to the other with the plunger
Accidentally used AOL.com, I betting the employees there are celebrating and think they have a sure future.
Be friend with stupid people.., feel like genius all the time
Now it`s too hot to take down the outdoor Christmas lights.
Camping is fun if you`re into pretending that you`re homeless.
Sometimes it`s fun to make fun of yourself. Almost as fun as it is to make fun of others.
Coffee: So I can do nothing with more energy.
If you’ve gauged huge holes in your ears and don’t keep Oreo cookies in them for snacks then what the hell’s the point man?
You`ll notice you never see sweatpants with "Classy" written across the butt.
I`m motivated by a need to leave something meaningful in the world & a profound desire to shove it in the face of anyone who`s rejected me.
I’ve thought about running away as an adult way more than I did as a child.
I dont hate you but, if you put `just about to jump off a cliff` as your facebook statuses i would poke you
Because it`s the season to give thanks, I would just like to say....you`re welcome.