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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Guys... If the girl your getting down with doesn`t even have time to fake an orgasm..... It`s prob best you just make your sandwich
Got kicked out of the hospital. Apparently the β€œhead nurse” is just the one in charge of the other nurses.
Do you think retailers in Colorado have seen an increase in the sales of Easy Bake ovens and Brownie mix?
Apparently "Fat Tuesday" doesnΒ΄t constitue telling fatties theyΒ΄re fatties.
I know it`s rude to ask someone about their pregnancy if you`re unsure, but my hubby looks about 4 months along & the suspense is killing me
You can run from your problems. Unless your problem is a cheetah.
Do you ever feel like you`re in Season 5 of your life, and the writers are just doing outrageous stuff to keep it interesting?
Turbo Tax might just be the worst video game I`ve ever played.
Id explain it to you, but I don’t have any crayons with me.
Boobs are like the Sun. You can stare at them directly just for a few seconds, but if you put on sunglasses, you can stare as much as you want!
Is Nudeism a religion?
I`m a very modest person, mostly because I`m awesome.
Admit it, you`ve answered Dora at least once in your life.
Drinking doesn’t make me post better Facebook status updates; it just makes me not care what you think of them…
If House of Cards has taught me anything it’s that I need a friend who owns a rib place.