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Hey Samsung and Apple, no need for commercials. We’ve all chosen sides.
I swear I just go to the strip club for the music.
My moral compass must run on solar power because it never seems to work after dark.
When I squeeze a tube of `whitening toothpaste` and it’s blue, I’m like, well this is off to a bad start.
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I say unto myself I SHALL NEVER... USE APPLE MAPS AGAIN...
Your gene pool should be drained, the area bleached & the ground burned & salted. But other than that you seem like a great person.
Think big, Think smart, Think positive, Think beautiful, Think great,I know this is too much for u,so here is a shortcut-Just think about me
You laugh because you think it’s a joke. I laugh because you think I’m joking.
Stupid people who suddenly make a smart decision have no idea how confusing that is for the rest of us.
It is possible to stay in your room all day and be perfectly happy.
I had a doctors appointment today. He said I was normal! See? I told you!!!
"Wish You Were Beer!" Wait...no...that`s right...send.
R.I.P. 2013 (2013-2013)
Why is it when you take a break from Facebook everyone assumes you`re happy and in love ... Maybe I was in jail.
Don`t take nude pics. Problem solved.