Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Im at a beer tasting today..so far they all taste the same out of this case...well done Budweiser...well done!!
Boobs: because you can`t suck on a girls personality
I hear my ex is now into orgies, or at least that`s what the Craigslist ad I just posted on her behalf said.
Goodnight friends, strangers, pervs, weirdos and a$$holes, and anybody else I left out.
If ignorance really was bliss we`d have a lot more really happy people around here.
What age is the best to break it to my kids, that they`re NOT adopted?
I don`t always get to drink free beer... But I just happen to know my neighbor went to the night shift, and I saw him filling his fridge today.
When I was a child I dreamed of being an old west cowboy. When I grew up I realized they didn`t have toilet paper with aloe.
We should start seeing Valentine`s Day crap in the stores any minute now.
To-Do List : Nothing[?]
Some people repeat themselves when they`re drunk & some people repeat themselves when they`re drunk.
I had a wet dream about you last night. Yeah, I was drowning you in a lake.
Just got back from the car dealership and long story short, I`m now the proud owner of a giant circus tent.
If your friends tell you not to give in to peer pressure and you don`t: technically, you did
I`ll admit I`m not perfect but what did the horse I rode in on do?