Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
The other day someone told me I could make ice cubes out of leftover wine. I was confused... What is leftover wine?
someone took my mood ring away... dont know how i feel about it
After listening to what some people have to say, I am rethinking the importance this whole freedom of speech thing.
Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
They say women only use 10% of their anger
"Is that for here or to go?" —Real estate agent selling a mobile home
Spent morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
Be thankful your GPS doesn`t get PMS: “Fine! Turn whichever way you want! You never listen to me anyway!”
My mother in law called me today and said? ”Come quick. I think I’m dying” I said, ”Call me back when you’re sure”.
I need a "previously on your life" recap for the things I didn`t pay attention to.
Still haven`t cashed in my winning megamillions ticket...scared the $6 will make my friends treat me different.
If history repeats itself then I am SO getting a dinosaur.
Took my 3rd self-defense class, so if anyone feels like attacking me straight on, very slowly, w/ a fake knife in their right hand, BRING IT
Every time I`m not with my kid and someone asks me "Where`s the baby?" I just yell "Oh crap!" and run in the direction I came from.