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I`m not bothered if someone likes me or Not. Even Angels are hated by Demons.
I`m gonna open a bar and name it Rehab.....
I don`t know how many girls it takes to change a light bulb, but I guarantee we`d post pictures of us doing it on Facebook.
You know what’s funnier than watching someone trip and fall? Absolutely nothing!
Oh look, it`s raining outside. I think I`ll go on Facebook and update all my friends that don`t have a window of their own.
I was disappointed to learn that the Discovery Channel’s program “Deadliest Catch” wasn’t about first marriages.
Whenever our neighbor`s dog is barking, I know there`s either someone at their door or literally anything else in the universe has happened.
Thoughts of you make my demons nervous.
I laughed more at the Broncos offense then I did at the commercials.
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Walmart.
Drinking Game: Tape a fake mustache to your TV. Drink every time it lines up with someone`s face.
I´m not insensitive, I just don´t care.
As a Harry Potter fan, I wanted to go to Hogwarts. As a Hunger Games fan, not so much...
If I didn’t drink, how would my friends know I loved them at 2AM?
I don`t understand interventions. What`s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of the reasons I drink in the first place?