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in 2014 there were times when I annoyed you, disturbed you, irritated you and bugged the hell out of you. Today i wanna let you know that i planned to continue with it this year :-)
In sign language, arthritis is a speech impediment.
How to know you have a sunburn: Smack the spot. If you scream in pain, its a sunburn
If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.
I`ll show up at the gym when they put in a drive-thru.
Guns don`t kill people. Fathers with pretty daughters do.
My gf thinks I cook our meals cause I love her. Really, it`s cause I`m afraid she might try to poison me.
In case of fire, do not use the elevator. Use water...
Overheard at grocery: Paper or plastic, sir? Doesn’t matter. Im bisacksual.
When your running down the street on fire, people will get out of your way
Currently helping my sister look for her chocolate`s I ate 4hrs ago.
Did you know? If you put your finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds like Packman!
A word to the wise ain`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice.
Sorry I drunk dialed you at 10am.
I scream. You scream. The police come ... It`s awkward ;)