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How the hell do you call Batman during the day?
I have a feeling my check liver light will come on this weekend
If you raise your children, you spoil your grandkids. If you spoil your children, you raise your grandkids.
Similarities between BRA and BAR 1. Both have similar letters 2. Both are drinking zones 3. When both opened men go crazy "prove me wrong"
My left buttcheek fell asleep. I`m Half-assing everything I do for the next ten minutes.
Please drink responsibly this weekend and don`t drink and dri......Wait this is Facebook, most of you probably won`t leave the house! ... Good talk!
Even this posting will offend some people, hopefully.
Any woman can make you a Millionaire.. You only have to be a Billionaire first.
I was only 6 numbers away from winning the powerball.
I can cope with voices in my head but the voices outside my head drive me crazy.
Gotta thin the herd. – me eating animal crackers
Guys communicate by insulting each other, but don’t really mean it. Girls communicate by complimenting each other, but don’t really mean it.
If I laugh randomly when you are talking to me, don`t worry, the voices are telling me jokes.
Hillary Clinton is running for president. In other news, grass is green and the sun is hot.
My home security system is just 15 motion-activated Big Mouth Billy Basses.