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I`m pretty sure some of you just drag your face across the keyboard and hit send.
My mother was feeling cold so now I`m wearing a sweater.
There should be an "undo" button in an elevator for when you accidentally hit the wrong floor.
I`d watch NASCAR if Hot Wheels designed the tracks.
"I`ll let you know" = I need more time to come up with an excuse
If you really think about it, "Nightlife" is just a fancy word for drinking alcohol at a place that isn`t your house.
YOU KNOW WHY!!!!!!!!!!
Alcohol doesn’t make you fat… it makes you Lean… on tables, chairs & random ugly people.
Okay kids don`t ever talk to strangers or take candy from strangers or go to stranger`s houses except on the day we worship the devil.
I think I speak for everyone when I say we hate being spoken for.
Silence is Golden, but telling some people to go f*ck themselves is PRICELESS...!
Hmmmmm,,,, Turns out all this time, I’ve been using a life couch instead of a life coach.
Was up all night wondering, why do people compliment me for having all my sh!t together & yet still insult me for being full of it?
You`re the type of person who didn`t rewind the Blockbuster VHS...
My goal weight is,"someone give that girl a cheeseburger."