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i honestly hate saying sorry but when i do i really mean it :-)
Are you watching too much T.V but not doing enough reading? Turn your subtitles on.
I need to unbutton my pants just thinking about how much I’m going to eat this week.
That`s not how I met your mother.
I see you`re busy. I`ll come back later and ruin your free time.
I just found out that a bucket of KFC when you`re finished with it, also doubles as a porta-potty...
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present, they are due back at the library today.
Has anyone seen where I put my organizational skills?
My Girlfriend wanted a cat. I didn`t want a cat. So we compromised and we got a cat...
I am surprised Cheech and Chong have not filmed a new movie -"Cheech and Chong Smoke Colorado"
no one is perfect thats why pencil have eraser
I wish my bladder had a snooze button.
I think there should be a mandatory test at 16 that you have to pass and if not, you get neutered or spayed.
Dear Santa, before I try to explain…..just how much do you already know?
Sometimes I wonder if I could get away with murder, but then I remember I can’t even eat pancakes without getting syrup all over me.