Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
United States is where moms get a day and shark get a whole week.
The human soul weights 1.2 lbs. I know this because I weighed myself before and after I got to work.
If suppositories were just a bit smaller, they would be a whole lot easier to swallow...........................
Logging in to Facebook has become the equivalent of opening the fridge door and staring inside even though you`re not hungry.
I`m considering buying a racehorse and naming it, "My Face". Just so I can hear everyone in the stands scream "Come on, My face!!"...
I bet Batman`s cape gets stuck in the car door more times than he admits.
My apartment is so dirty that I actually lost my last girlfriend to the 5 second rule.
my friends status was "standing on the edge of a cliff" ... so I poked him
Every so often, I try to fornicate a large word into conversation, even if I’m not sure what it means
My friends made fun of me for buying this flamethrower, but at least I don`t have to shovel snow this weekend.
No, PornHub, I would NOT like to share this video with my friends and family on facebook.
Naked and Afraid also describes the last time I spent a night at a Holiday Inn
The future is that time when you’ll wish you’d done what you aren’t doing now.
Sex Is Like Math: Add The Bed, Subtract The Clothes, Divide The Legs, And Pray To God You Don`t Multiply!
Just bought a car with the money from my swear jar.