Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Dear therapist, I might actually come see you if your job title didn`t spell out “the rapist” Sincerely, not lying down.
Burger King is offering delivery service in some areas. I don’t trust it. Everyone knows it’s impossible to drive without eating the fries.
Unless life hands you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.
keep scrolling… it gets better lol
“True beauty is within” for example opening your fridge.
What do you get when you cross a pitbull with a computer? I don`t really know but when it megabytes, it megahertz
I’m a pervert, but in a romantic way.
I met a lady named Polly once. She didn`t care for crackers, nor my sense of humor.
When I asked if you had protection, pepper spray isn’t what I meant.
Hopefully because of social networking, I`ve tarnished my reputation enough for anybody to ever place me in a role of great responsibility.
Don’t judge me until you’ve walked a mile with my shoes….shoved up your a$$.
You say illegal, I say added to my bucket list.
Bran flakes. Helping pants fit better for over 100 years.
If you want to call a family meeting just turn off the wifi router and wait in the room in which it is located
If your life ever seems boring just remember that you are on a rock floating in outer space.