Daily Silly Status

Grocery stores could save me a lot of time and effort by adding an “All the stuff you can microwave” aisle.

I like it like that

I love how when your watching a crime show and they have to tell you that "this is a reenactment" oh really? you mean you didn`t actually catch the murder on video?

You know what’s more annoying than cops? People who buy old refurbished cop cars and keep the spotlight attached. We all hate you.

My friend says to me, "What rhymes with orange?" I said, "No it doesn`t."

Someday you may lose your hair, you may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never lose – your good looks, coz you can never lose what you don’t have!

I got kicked out of my Community Theater group when the director asked to see me Limp. How was I to know he was talking about walking?

Have you ever listened to somebody speak and wonder who ties their shoelaces for them?

News flash! someone just found Carmon Sandiego!

I got a new high score today ... Sadly, it was on my bathroom scale

I`m so old, I remember when the internet didn`t have commercials.

The opposite of "tying the knot" is "no strings attached"

They say you need to listen to what your body is telling you. But mine just points and laughs.

Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention Morons!

The awkward moment when someone deletes their comment on facebook and you look like you’re talking to yourself.